this is the true joy in life

Many of you know that my dad died about a month and a half ago. I have been putting off posting anything on my blog because I felt like I should come to some kind of peace or understanding before I shared anything...yeah, that's not going to happen anytime soon. Sure, I have learned a whole lot already, but the first is that mourning is a process not a destination. So here is a cross section of how this is shaping my life as a teacher and pupil of life.

Very shortly after dad died, I found myself with a voracious appetite to continue along the path I was already on in life. I wanted to get my degree and travel the world in a weekend. My father's life spoke of hard work, serving others, and selfless commitment to one's community. All this meant press forward harder than ever. But in the last few days I have had reason to reevaluate some of my paradigm.

A life well spent does not require every gift that we possess to be used at once. God only calls us to use certain gifts at His appointed time. It is my joy to learn and teach, create and inspire. But I want to take each in its right season. Does this mean that my vision for education has changed? No. In fact, I might not even change the way that I work toward it. But what I do know is that God brings change in HIS season and according to HIS splendor. I can no more easily force my students to make right choices than I can force a flower to bloom. I suppose instead of taking of charging locomotive approach to life, I am learning how to take in the scenery. Maybe a gondola ride? Or a pair of skates? The beauty of it all is that the train is waiting for me in the station whenever I am ready to cover some ground. There's no hurry. My life has and always will be characterized by the following quote-no matter how I go about it.

This is the true joy in life.
The being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one.
The being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.
I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community
and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can.
I want to be thoroughly used up when I die,
for the harder I work, the more I live.
I rejoice in life for its own sake.
Life is no brief candle to me.
It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment
and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible
before handing it on to future generations.
-George Bernard Shaw

This was the life that my father lived. And the torch that I carry after he laid it down that fateful day in the woods. I only aspire to lead the kind of honorable and worthy life that he did. That's all any of us can do.