I made it to Seattle

Early yesterday morning my brother-in-law (Josh) and I packed up the U-haul attached to Roxy (my fabulous little SUV) and headed West. I have made that drive probably a hundred times, but this time I was reminded of the first time I made it almost six years ago...

I can remember driving through the rolling hills of wheat with my parents in the front seat and wondering what on earth I was getting myself into. Why would I ever leave the comforts of the big city to live in a tiny little town that I hadn't heard of until I saw it posted on the road sign?! "Welcome to Pullman" We'll see about that. But above everything else I knew that God had a plan for me and even if I was skeptical, I knew that Pullman was going to be part of it. So I stayed and went about the business of settling in. Find a church, make some friends, etc. What I didn't expect was to find a place that I would very happily call home even after I finished my degree.

And now, as is the nature of things, my life has taken another turn and I find myself driving past a new road sign that reads "Welcome to Seattle." This time instead of seeing "amber waves of grain" I drive past lush patches of median greenery and towering apartment buildings. I'm glad to be in the land of banana slugs and Birkenstocks again.

The interesting and exciting thing about this new adventure is that I have no clear idea of what it is supposed to look like. Sure, I have many IDEAS (what kind of an over-planner control freak would I be without them=) ), but I am holding onto them loosely. Graduate school, Vancouver, Seattle...many ideas. For now I will settle for playing with my niece and nephew and losing myself in a book store.

learning how to take a rest

I saw a book at the book store today entitled Wreck this Journal. It's pages were lined with instructions like "burn this page" and "spit, fling or splash your coffee here." It was meant to be an exercise in letting go of unnecessary structure in our lives (I think) and it struck me how much it reflected my life right now. I had a beautiful five-year plan before my dad passed away and then God saw fit to take said plan and toss it out the window. Well...maybe not throw it out the window. Just cut it into a jigsaw puzzle and spread it around the table a bit.

So instead of trying to reassemble it into the picture that it once was, I'm choosing to raise the white flag of surrender and tell God, "You win." I know all the same pieces are there-missions, teaching, masters studies, etc., but I think it's just time for me to stare at the pieces for awhile until He decides to have us start working on the puzzle again. You know what? This is probably the hardest thing I've done in a really long time. But, I am learning a whole new side to God's love for me. It is based solely in who I am and not what I can do.

And so, because He loves me for who I am and not because I can impress everyone with my mad event planning skills, I am taking some time to enjoy that. "Roll in it. Swim in it, until [my] fingers get all pruney."

What does that look like? I'm moving back to the westside. Yes, evergreens, cloudy days and terrible football (oh, wait I can get that in Pullman, too....) here I come! I'm excited to spend more time with my family and reflect on how God and I want to move forward. I'll let you know how it goes.